The Gentle Void
where is it + how do we get there.
There's so much I want to share. And at the same time, y'all wouldn't understand.
I don't think anyone who hasn't had the experience will understand. The relationship with the unseen. The relationship with the voices or synchronicities that can only be witnessed and not explained.
I have things to talk about and at the same time nothing at all. No new news to report. And at the same time, let's discuss everything.
I want to go to a place where no one knows me, so I can tell them everything.
Without the fear or consideration of judgment. Without their response. Without their projections. Without their facial expressions really.
Yell into a void of exponential acceptance for whatever crazy shit I want to say.
I want to share all the secrets I've forced myself to bury. The ones I'm happy to keep and the ones burning me from the inside. The ones that will never exit my mouth and the ones I'd say if you give me some ice cream.
Where is that quiet place away from social media? Away from watching eyes and deductive hearts. Is it only a place in my mind? A place where others who seek solace reside? Or are we all stuck in this reality with nowhere to escape?
Where do your thoughts take you at night? In the quiet? In the noise? When your favorite song is on? Or when the tears start streaming and you can't easily identify the cause.
What is your internal weather like?
What is mine? The void has to be somewhere. Maybe over there. Near the trees. They surely have the capacity for the feelings we keep bottled. Buried. Repressed. Caged. Under wraps.
The deepest feelings we have about ourselves. Whether they're real or not. True or not. Delusional or not.
Where is the void?
Is it in another country? In the ocean? Will the fish have capacity and scream with me to the top of our lungs? Nah, that would take air. They breathe underwater. Much like how some feel when the walls are closing in. When the world is too loud and the silence is even louder.
Is the void in heaven? A room that even the Gods themselves enter from time to time to scream in because what the fuck are humans doing?
Harming each other for sport. Cursing each other. Like, y'all had one job. To just live. Enjoy the resources WE made for you and find your purpose.
Yea, maybe that is the void I want to yell into. Sounds like a haven of plush pillows made of unconditional love and ceilings made of sturdy forgiveness.
For now, while I'm here on earth, I will figure out a way to maneuver through the reality that is now. The present. Is it a gift that someone forgot the warp?
There is no bow on this gift baby. Did they forget it? Or is it my responsibility to wrap it myself?
Oh, I got it now. The paper is my experiences. The bow, the times when Spirit shows me I'm going in the right direction.
Who else seeks a void to yell into? A place to be completely yourself? More than being home with a nice robe on or in the bathroom, bare and vulnerable?
I hope we all find our places to express and yell. To release and regroup. Because it's not in the places that make us feel restricted or resistant.
*just some random streams of thoughts I had tonight.
